What I Wish I Knew as a New Leader: Lessons from the Frontline

The Hardest—and Most Important—Transition of Your Career

The hardest and most important career transition you’ll ever make is stepping into your first leadership role.

And if you work in public safety, healthcare, social work, or any trauma-exposed profession, odds are no one trained you for it.

One day you’re side-by-side with your peers — the next, you’re responsible for their performance and well-being.

The Peer-to-Boss Shift

I went from being a dispatcher on Friday to a supervisor on Monday — no training, no playbook.

It was one of the most isolating and overwhelming transitions of my career. Two decades later, I know that story is still way too common.

“One day you’re part of the team. The next, you’re leading it—with no roadmap.”

The Data Doesn’t Lie

Research from Gallup shows that 70% of workplace engagement and performance comes down to one factor: the leader closest to the frontline.

And yet, up to 60% of new leaders receive no formal training before stepping into the role — and many fail or burn out within their first two years (Center for Creative Leadership & Gartner, 2021).

Organizations spend more than $18 billion a year on leadership development in the U.S., but most of it goes to the C-suite — not the frontline.

Why Investing in Frontline Leadership Matters

Frontline leaders are the heartbeat of every organization. They:

• Have the greatest daily influence on culture, morale, and performance.

• Serve as the bridge between executive vision and operational reality.

• Directly shape retention, psychological safety, and trust within teams.

And yet, they are often the least prepared and least supported.

“That’s not just unfortunate — it’s an ROI crisis.”

When We Invest in Frontline Leaders, Everyone Wins

When frontline leaders are trained, mentored, and supported early:

• Engagement rises dramatically.

• Turnover, absenteeism, and mental-health injuries drop.

• Performance, innovation, and collaboration climb.

This is a systemic return on investment — one that pays off in healthier teams, safer operations, and stronger communities.

We can’t afford not to develop them.

The Hidden Costs of Unprepared Leadership

Leadership without preparation comes with grief, isolation, and what I call the capacity trap — where caring leaders try to fix everyone’s problems and burn out fast.

Studies from McKinsey and the Journal of Leadership Studies confirm what we feel:

“When leaders overfunction, teams underfunction.”

What I’d Do Differently Now

If I could go back and lead that first team again, I’d do it differently.

I’d lead with intentionality, not awkwardness.I’d call out the shift from peer to supervisor on day one.I’d align with my fellow leaders — because when we walk out of the room unified, culture thrives.

Tools That Change Everything

Here are three simple frameworks that change how we lead, connect, and protect our own capacity:

1. The Team Charter

Co-create your shared purpose and behaviors so everyone knows what “great” looks like.

2. Brave Conversations Framework

Address conflict with clarity and compassion — before it festers.

3. Boundary Up

Coach instead of fix. Empower instead of rescue. Protect your energy so you can lead for the long run.

“Healthy leadership starts where self-awareness meets structure.”

Why It Matters

The system doesn’t always set us up to succeed — but we can shift it.

When leaders regulate, communicate, and align, the ripple effects heal teams, workplaces, and communities.

Because leadership in trauma-exposed work isn’t about titles — it’s about humans leading humans.

And that starts with investing where it counts most: the frontline.

Listen, Reflect, & Share

🎧 Listen to Episode 6: “What I Wish I Knew as a New Leader — Lessons from the Frontline” on The Cindy Sparrow Podcast on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify now!

If this episode resonates, share it with a teammate, colleague, or emerging leader who’s walking the same path. Because leadership doesn’t have to be lonely—and we grow stronger when we grow together.

Tell me: What’s one lesson you’ve learned the hard way as a leader?

I’d love to hear from you.

Next Steps

👉 Download the Brave Conversations Guide.

👉 Join the waitlist for the 2026 SHIFT™ Leadership Program.

Because you deserve to thrive as a human and a leader — and your people deserve the same.

Post-Traumatic Growth: How We Rise Stronger Through Trauma

The Other Side of the Story

We talk a lot about post-traumatic stress injuries in trauma-exposed professions—and we should. PTSD, moral injury, compassion fatigue, and burnout are very real parts of our work.

But there’s another part of the story that doesn’t get as much airtime in our world: post-traumatic growth (PTG).

What Is Post-Traumatic Growth?

Post-traumatic growth is a concept developed by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the 1990s.

PTG is not a return to baseline, but a profound positive change experienced as a result of the struggle with a major life crisis or trauma. It is the result of the effort to cope.

The key distinction is that PTG co-exists with post-traumatic stress. It is possible—and common—to experience debilitating stress and growth simultaneously. This is a critical message for all of us.

While post-traumatic stress injury (PTSI) rates are high in public safety professions (we experience it 10× greater than the general public), post-traumatic growth appears to be even more common for us.

🎧 In Episode 5 of The Cindy Sparrow Podcast, I walk through what PTG actually looks like, why it matters for those of us in trauma-exposed professions, and how you can start to see (and build) your growth—not someday, but now.

What PTG Looks Like: The Five Pillars of Growth

Researchers have identified five domains where growth tends to show up after trauma.As you read these, notice where they may already be happening in your life.

1. A Deeper Appreciation of Life

After trauma, many people describe a profound shift from autopilot to presence.Things that once blurred together suddenly hold meaning again—the sunrise after a night shift, the warmth from a cup of coffee, the laughter of your kids when you walk in the door.

“You start noticing the moments you used to rush past.”

Gratitude stops being something you “try” to practice and starts being how you see the world.That awareness doesn’t erase the difficulty—it deepens your reverence for what’s still good and alive within and around you.

2. Closer Relationships & Compassion

Trauma can make us pull away, but growth pulls us back toward what’s real. It strips away surface-level connections and deepens the ones that matter.

We learn who our people are—the ones who can hold space without fixing, who meet us with compassion instead of comparison or judgment.

Peer support and relational connection are among the strongest predictors of post-traumatic growth.

It’s through those safe, authentic relationships that healing happens—where trust, empathy, and humanity become shared lifelines instead of silent burdens.

3. Increased Personal Strength

This pillar is about the quiet, unshakeable strength that emerges when you realize, “I survived that. I grew through that.”

It’s not about toughness or bravado; it’s the inner knowing that no matter what happens, you have what it takes to meet it.

“Strength as self-trust—the kind that lets you say, ‘I can ask for help,’ without shame.”

That’s embodied strength.

4. New Possibilities & Priorities

When trauma shakes our worldview, it also rearranges what truly matters. Some paths no longer fit—and that’s when new ones appear.

You might find yourself craving more alignment and less approval, saying no where you once said yes, taking leaps to new roles or projects that honour your values instead of your fears.

This pillar often looks like rediscovering purpose—remembering why you started, and choosing to honour that part of you differently this time.

5. Spiritual / Existential Growth

This isn’t necessarily about religion; it’s about meaning.After trauma, we often begin to ask bigger questions: Why am I here? What do I believe now?

You might feel a stronger connection to nature, community, or the sacredness of everyday life. You might start noticing the subtle patterns of grace that remind you something larger has been holding you all along.

“Even in the darkest moments, there’s a thread of light—and you can trust it to guide you home.”

Growth Isn’t Linear

You don’t need all five pillars to be growing. Sometimes one area cracks open and the rest follow over time.Growth isn’t linear or polished—it’s lived, layered, and ongoing.

If you see yourself in even one of these, you’re already on the path. You are growing right now, in ways you might not even realize yet.

What PTG Is Not

Post-traumatic growth isn’t about glossing over pain or forcing yourself to “find the silver lining.”

It’s not pretending you’re fine when you’re falling apart.It’s not pushing down your emotions, slapping on gratitude, and calling it healing.

That’s toxic positivity and emotional bypassing, and they have no place in genuine growth.

The Danger of Toxic Positivity & Emotional Bypassing

Toxic positivity uses positivity as a shield to avoid discomfort:“Everything happens for a reason.”“It could be worse.”“Just focus on the good.”

Forcing positivity doesn’t heal pain—it buries it.

Emotional bypassing is similar: jumping straight to “what I learned” before allowing yourself to feel.Unprocessed pain doesn’t disappear; it simply finds new ways to surface—through exhaustion, irritability, or disconnection.

Real Growth Requires Feeling It All

Real post-traumatic growth asks something braver:to face what hurts and feel it,to acknowledge the impact before trying to extract the lesson,and to allow both to coexist—pain and progress, grief and gratitude, breaking and becoming.

“You can be hurting and healing. You can be exhausted and expanding.”

That’s where true integration begins.

The Power of a Both/And Mindset

In trauma-exposed work, we’re often taught to compartmentalize—to “stay strong,” “keep it together,” and “push through.”That survival wiring helps in crisis but can trap us in either/or thinking at home:

• Either I’m fine or I’m falling apart.

• Either I’m strong or I’m struggling.

• Either I’m grateful or I’m broken.

Real growth lives in the both/and.

You can be grieving and growing.You can be deeply grateful and still wish parts of life felt different.

When we stop trying to pick a side between pain and progress, healing can finally take root.

How This Shift Changes Everything

For years, I didn’t understand that. I bypassed the pain because it felt safer to move on quickly—to prove I was okay.

What I know now is this: when we don’t let ourselves feel, we stay stuck.When we make space for both the ache and the awakening, we start to heal for real.

The both/and mindset is where self-compassion lives—and where our nervous system learns safety again.

Tools to Help You Grow (Starting Today)

Growth isn’t a lightning-bolt moment. It’s a series of small, steady choices to return to yourself over and over again.

Here are four simple tools to begin—or to keep going—right where you are.

1. Name What’s Changed

Ask yourself: “What has this experience grown in me?”Maybe it’s strength, empathy, or clarity about what matters most.

Write it down. Say it out loud.When you name it, you claim it—that’s how growth becomes real.

2. Regulate Before You Relate

Before connecting with others, reconnect with yourself.Take four deep breaths, step outside, or use my RADAR Reset™ method:

Recognize → Acknowledge → Disrupt → Allow → Regulate

Tiny pauses like this help you respond from grounded presence instead of survival mode.

3. Lean Into Your People

Healing happens in community, not isolation.Peer connection is one of the strongest predictors of post-traumatic growth in public-safety work.

Find your people—a peer, mentor, therapist, or friend who listens without judgment.Connection doesn’t erase pain, but it reminds you that you don’t have to carry it alone.

4. Map Your Triumph Through Trauma

Grab a journal or a blank sheet of paper.Write down three of the hardest things you’ve lived through and ask:

• What made this experience so hard?

• What did it teach me?

• Who did I become because of it?

• Which of the five pillars of growth showed up for me?

This reflection becomes proof of your resilience—a living reminder that you’ve already walked through fire and come out forged.

Why This Matters

Because in our line of work, the cost is real—and so is the growth.

Every call, every shift, every moment we hold space for someone else’s worst day changes us.Some changes leave scars; others carve space for wisdom, compassion, and a depth of humanity that can’t be taught in a classroom.

That’s what post-traumatic growth is really about: not turning pain into a project, but allowing it to become part of your evolution.

The Invitation

Because you deserve freedom, ease, and joy in the middle of this work—not just when you retire, not just “someday.”

Because your nervous system, your heart, and your humanity matter just as much as the people you serve.

“The world doesn’t need a perfect version of you—it needs the real you.”

You’ve already proven your strength a hundred times over.This is your invitation to recognize it—and see how much you’ve already grown through what you’ve endured.

Take a breath. Acknowledge your story. Thank the parts of you that kept going when it was hard.

Healing isn’t about going back to who you were before.It’s about becoming more fully who you are now—stronger, wiser, and still beautifully human.

Listen, Reflect, & Share

🎧 Listen to Episode 5: “Post-Traumatic Growth — Rising Stronger After Trauma” on The Cindy Sparrow Podcast on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify now!

If this message resonated, share it with a teammate, friend, or loved one who needs a reminder that growth is possible—right here, right now.

And tell me: Where have you noticed your own growth lately?

I’d love to hear from you.

When Leadership Costs You Yourself: The Truth About Stress, Silence & Showing Up

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Cindy Sparrow, CEO & Co-Founder of Cindy Sparrow International

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There’s a version of leadership we’ve been sold—one where staying quiet is noble, keeping the peace is brave, and self-sacrifice is just part of the job.

For a long time, I bought into it.

I stayed silent to keep things “calm.”

I avoided conflict because I didn’t want to seem dramatic.

I held space for everyone else, even when I had none left for myself.

I thought that’s what made me strong.

But what I’ve come to understand is this:

It wasn’t strength. It was survival. And it was slowly hollowing me out.

I was disappearing behind a smile, behind responsibility, behind the uniform and the “I’ve got this” that everyone around me wanted to believe.

And the worst part? I felt completely alone in it.

Like no one saw how heavy it really was.

Like I was the only one carrying the weight of an entire system while pretending I was fine.

We Don’t Talk About This Enough

In trauma-exposed professions like Emergency Services, (or our friends in healthcare and social work to name a few more), avoidance becomes a coping strategy.

We avoid what’s hard because there’s no time to fall apart.

We avoid discomfort because we’re already overwhelmed.

We avoid our own truth because somewhere along the line, we were taught to lead with our heads and not our hearts.

And because of that, we end up avoiding:

• The conversations that need to happen

• The changes we know are necessary

• The emotions we were never taught how to hold

All of that silence? It doesn’t disappear.

It shows up in stress, burnout, disconnection, resentment, and deep internal misalignment.

Guess where else it shows up?

According to two of my favorite experts and authors in this realm: Dr. Bessel van der Kolk (The Body Keeps the Score) and Dr. Gabor Maté (The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture), unprocessed stress and trauma doesn’t just live in our minds—it lives in our bodies.

When we suppress our truth, override our needs, and keep pushing forward in a dysregulated state, it shows up physically: in chronic illness, fatigue, anxiety, inflammation, and emotional shutdown. Our bodies carry what we don't have the space or safety to process.

Leadership that ignores the body isn't sustainable. Eventually, it all catches up.

This erosion of self happens slowly, quietly, almost imperceptibly at first. Until you realize you’re no longer the same. You’re running on fumes. You’re surviving, not leading. And most painful of all—you can’t remember the last time you felt like you.

When Leadership Costs You Yourself

I’ve worked with leaders who are brilliant, committed, and quietly unraveling behind the scenes. Not because they’re not capable—but because the model they’ve been given is unsustainable.

They feel like they’re walking on eggshells. They’re exhausted from keeping up appearances. They want to create positive change, but they’re not sure how to do it without blowing everything up.

Underneath it all, they miss themselves.

That inner voice—the one that knows when something’s off.

The one that used to have a vision, a fire, a dream.

The one that’s been buried under chronic stress, organizational dysfunction, and years of “just keep going.”

And for a long time, I was one of them.

Finding My Way Back to My Voice

The turning point for me wasn’t a single moment.

It was more like a slow unraveling.

A realization that this way wasn’t working—not in my life, not in my relationships, and definitely not in leadership.

From that unraveling came clarity.

That voice I’d quieted—the one that asked hard questions, that craved change, that wanted something more aligned and true?

That voice is leadership. That voice is the shift—the one that didn’t lead me back to who I was, but forward to the version of me I hadn’t met yet—the one who would never abandon herself again.

You Don’t Have to Lead Like This

If you’re reading this and quietly nodding, I want you to know something:

There’s nothing wrong with you.

You’re not too sensitive.

You’re not the problem.

You’re just tired of leading in ways that cost you your health, your joy, your sense of self.

You’re ready for a different way.

So where do you begin?

Here’s one small but powerful first step: Start by noticing the places where you’ve been staying quiet—and ask yourself why.

• Is it fear of conflict or the consequences of addressing it?

• Is it the belief that your needs don’t matter as much as those you lead or love?

• Is it just that you’re too exhausted to even go there?

These are sacred questions. Let them guide you back to yourself.

And if you’d like a simple tool to support you in this process, I created a free reflection guide:

👉 Brave Leadership Starts Here: 5 Questions to Reconnect With Your Voice

No pressure. No pitch. Just a starting point if you’re ready for one.

Because your voice matters.

Your well-being matters.

And leadership should never cost you you.

One Last Thing…

I see you.

You are not too much. You are not behind. You are not broken.

You are a brave soul in a system that wasn’t built for your humanity—and you’re still here.

So please, put yourself on the priority list.

Your leadership, your impact, and your well-being are worth it.

The world needs the most regulated, aligned, and fully alive version of you.

And that starts with hearing your voice again.

With heart,

Cindy 💛

Trauma-Informed Leadership Strategist | M.A. Leadership

I help leaders and teams in trauma-exposed professions reclaim their voice, power, and purpose—without burning out.

I’m not here to perform. I’m here to transform.